#mummyfail

You know it's time to stop swearing in front of your kid when he runs around screaming: "Fuck-Fuck-Fuck-Fuck-Fuck" in his sweet little toddler voice. 

[love n booze]

You know you have a drinking problem when your partner writes you a love letter and sticks it to your wine bottle. 

I love this little guy, especially after his bath.

[Play School] The best TV show for kids?!

Last night I had a dream that the Play School presenter Andrew was a brain-eating zombie. He was dressed like Michael Keaton's character from 'Beatlejuice" and he was on a skateboard chasing me. He grabbed my arm with the intent of eating my brain. I poked him in the eye with a hockey stick. From this, I can deduce the following:

1) I watch too much TV
2) I have been living in Canada for too long
3) The Walking Dead scares the shit out of me, but I can't stop watching it
4) Play School employs subliminal messages that infiltrate your brain. My child is at risk
5) I really need to get more sleep

Spring

That moment, when you hear the first bird tweet, is the sweetest sound after a long, cold winter. 

Viking Baby

I swear I have a viking baby. A farting, burping, swearing, food-chucking little bloody viking. His incoherant whines and screams is really an ancient viking language and each sentence has pretty much the same tone: "Get me my food, bitch. Screw you, bitch, I don't want to go to sleep. I want to stay up all night eating, whoring and shitting with Big Bird and Mr. Owl."

Food times are the worst. I believe that more food lands on the ground than in his little circle on his face. I spend my days sweeping the floor, to keep the ants at bay and wiping his grotty little food-stained paws that claw and rip each morsel of food scraps I throw at him, paying mind not to get too close for fear of the almighty smear in my eye/ear/hair. I've come to believe that avocado doesn't have any properties to make my hair shine. I just end up looking oily and green. The 'Kermit the frog' look went out in the '80's. 


I'm hoping that the viking eventually leaves in his little dragonship and sails far far away, leaving behind the sweet little darling that used to dwell in my quiet abode. But I guess that won't happen until well after his teen years. Best be adopting the 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' philosophy. Arrrrrgh! 

Baby Does Beyonce

It started with a hand flick, and has become a 'thing' Cooper likes to do. I sing "Single Ladies" he does the hand movement. I wish I knew the words to the song, because then we could take this show on the road. He has also learned how to do 'kisses.' Awwwww. Today, the dining room. Tomorrow, the circus. 

Sweet baby giggles, sickening adult baby voices. What more does one need on a Friday evening? 

On his birthday, let him eat cake! 

-- 365 Days of Discovery --

The best thing about being a parent is discovering the world through your toddler's eyes. The joy of looking out of a high-rise window, the whirring of an approaching sea plane, or the simplicity of a fleck of fluff on the carpet provides so much excitement and insight into the world around us. It gives new meaning to the expression "stop and smell the roses." To a stay-at-home mum, there are rarely dull moments and those moments are reignighted with a new discovery or a simple smile, a new skill or a sloppy kiss. 

How fast these moments, days and years have flown by! Flashes of birthing a screaming, bloodied banshee, cradling a newborn baby, fluttering diapers, engorged boobies and flying food swirl and swim around my mind. 365 days gone. 365 days of discovery. 365 days of little sleep. 365 days of happiness and love. 

You Know You're in Australia When:

The people in your neighbourhood are growing beards not because it's suddenly 'hipster' and considered 'cool' but because they can't be fucked shaving. Yes, I live in the northern suburbs of (R)Adelaide. 

P.S. TOMS are not shoes here, but a man's name written in the possesive missing the apostrophe.

You Know You're in Australia When:

You leave Adelaide Oval after 7 hours of cricket and a check-shirted teenage boy sporting a Movember porn-'stache leans out of a taxi cab to heckle you and your Aussie mate gallantly replies, "How much was that car? Can I buy it?"

You Know You are in Australia When:

You go for a run on a dirt track beside a dry creek bed and for the entire run inhale lemon eucalypt and peppercorn trees.

#YEG Top Ten List

My partner and I spent 2 1/2 years in Edmonton. The day he told me that we were moving to the great prairie capital, I cried like a baby. But, I vowed to enjoy my time and to make the most of it. I was quite sad to leave in the end. Here is my farewell Top Ten of the city affectionately dubbed EDMO.

YEG Top Ten List:


10. Sugar Bowl
Living in the Garneau area for our first year, we were stumbling distance to this pub. The cask-nights with Alley Kat beer ignited a love affair with craft beer thus expanding our waist lines and reducing our bank accounts. We were never keen on the food, but love LOVED the atmosphere and of course, the beer. It was here that we met Jason Foster and so began reading his blog www.onbeer.org otherwise known as a beer-drinker's guide to happiness and craft brewery knowledge.

09. Alley Kat Brewery/Sherbrooke Liquor
Both establishments kept us suitably hydrated during the warm summer days and cold winter months in Edmo. Unique craft brews? Yum. 800 beers? Yes please.

08. Whyte Ave before dark
I really enjoyed crusing the Avenue shopping for original clothes. Such a great people-watching area. Awesome vibe. Hated this street after 10 pm though. Too many drunken bums looking for fights and slutty girls trying their hardest to catch a cold.

07. Duchess Bake shop
When we arrived in Edmo, we were looking for a great bakery for bread. We stumbled across this bakery, thinking they sold bread. Instead, we walked out with a raspberry scone, chocolate croissant, coconut-covered marshmallows, ginger cookies and a couple of macaroons. The shop assistant advised us to go to Treestone Bakery for bread.  Excellent advice for excellent bread. Amazing bake shop for decadent treats.

06. The Fringe
I have worked and volunteered at many Fringe festivals around the globe and I was truly taken aback by how amazing the Edmo Fringe festival was with both the quality of productions and support from the community. Well done, Edmo!

05. The Italian Centre
We lived, breathed and ate our way through the Italian Centre. My weekly pregnancy indulgence came in the form of a sausage roll (BYO ketchup), chocolate croissant and decaf coffee before beginning my weekly grocery shop. This was our go-to destination for desserts when we went to a friends house for dinner, or the place to buy delicious cold cuts for lunches or goodies to make charcuterie plates. In our opinion, the most affordable place to shop.

04. Heritage Days
Unfortunately, I only had the opportunity to visit this festival briefly this year but I LOVED it and would happily eat my face off here every year.

03. 104st Market and Eva Sweet Waffles
The best market and a lovely way to waste a Saturday morning. I really hope the 104 st area and downtown becomes more and more vibrant. Edmo needs this.

02. The River Valley
We spent hours in the River Valley, running, biking, walking and enjoying life. This is one of the best features of the city. More needs to be built around it such as cafes etc to further appreciate the beauty of it. Enjoy this, people of Edmo!

01. The People
Before moving to the prairies, I had heard stories about the people. How lovely, friendly and welcoming they were. I am now a full believer. The people on the prairies have hearts of gold; as gold as the wheat in the fields or the bright setting sun over the rolling plains. We will definitely miss our family and friends the most.

Special Mention: The Citadel Theatre
I have to give the Citadel a special mention not because I'm afraid my former boss will be upset if I don't include it, but because I genuinely think it is one of the top ten attractions in Edmonton. From the quality of acting/directing and programming, to the behind-the-scenes crew that work tirelessly to produce quality theatrical productions, it is a hive of cultural activity and excellence.

"Bro-Gan"

You know you are in Australia when:

You pull up at the lights behind a Holden station wagon and a bare-footed, singlet-wearing male passenger gets out of the car, opens the hatch to get two beers out of the esky for the driver and himself. Some would say BOGAN. I say BRO-GAN because he was kind enough to get a beer for the driver of the car. 

Did I mention that there was a "Baby on Board" sign hanging in the back window?

Autumn Daze 2012

"Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower." ~ Albert Camus

Autumn is my favourite time of year to take photographs. The light and colours make for optimum shooting experiences. The added bonus is that I can also look very much like a "photo-graph-er" with hats, scarves and cool jackets. 

Here is a link to the first family photoshoot I have had time to do in a very, very long time: Introducing the Istif-Markens!

P.S. On an entirely different note: I just sold a photograph to a U.S. based advertising company - the cheque arrived in the mail today! Thank you, America! 

Click here for the entire set on Flickr.

Bad Boy Dragon Child Night 6 & 7

Night 6 was again, a massive improvement. It was so good in fact that Hubby and I watched a MOVIE (at home, but still, a WHOLE movie) without BBDC waking. He did wake briefly at 10 pm after the movie was finished, but I put him back to sleep without feeding him! Success! However, he did wake at 12:30 am and 4:30 am, and then woke for the day at 7:00 am, but this is a huge change to a week ago. Yay, yay YAY! 

Night 7 we truly tested him by eating dinner at a friend's house. He promptly fell asleep at 7:00 pm. When we got home at 8:30 pm we did the "B" routine and as I put him down in his bed, he rolled onto his side and closed his eyes immediately. He almost looked relieved that he was in his own bed. Out-frickn-standing, little Bad Boy! He woke at 12:30 and 4:30 am, but went back to sleep easily. 

Nap times during the day have also improved. I now can put him in bed, walk away and come back in 10 minutes to say "Sleepy time," touch his face and he closes his eyes and sleeps. Did somebody swap my baby while I wasn't looking? 

I must admit, there are times when I lie awake and will him to sigh loudly or move because I still feel nervous that he hasn't woken yet and something might be wrong. The last 6 months has programmed me to wake every 2 hours to tend to him and thus satiating my fears: I know that he is okay if he wakes. Plus, it's nice to be needed and I love being able to put him to sleep in my arms. I return to my statement at the beginning of sleep training: it is much more about training the parents than training the baby. 

I'm still aiming for the 10 hour continual sleep. But perhaps, I am not ready to give up the quiet time I have feeding him in the wee hours of the morning. I will get there! WE will get there together. 



Note: Do NOT watch the TV series The Walking Dead while sleep training! It leads to many sleepless nights not induced by baby waking.

Bad Boy Dragon Child Night 5

I don't know what to do with myself...I had an uninterrupted evening with hubby for the first time in a long time. BBDC went down at 6:30 pm after only 20 minutes of protesting.  He briefly yelled out at 7:10 pm to which hubby went upstairs to sit beside him, but as soon as he entered the room, he had already settled himself. He did not wake until 12:30 am! Unfortunately, I stayed up until 10:30 pm so only had 2 hours nap before he woke, but still, HUGE improvement. He woke again at 3:42 am and then 5:50 am. I fed him back to sleep every time he woke as hubby was on call and only slept about 3 hours last night. Unfortunately, I laid awake between the 3:45 am - 5:50 am feeds - I need to sleep train myself I think. 

Then, BBDC went back to bed at 9:00 am after a 7:30 am wake up and he is still asleep at 11:00 am. I haven't had a Saturday morning to myself in 6 months! 

I'm half-way through sleep training and I feel that I have become much more confident with letting him cry through and self-settle in his bed. I have realised that he can fall asleep without my assistance. I still have a long way to go, as we have to travel again soon so we may go back to square one, but I feel I know how to problem-solve minor issues now. 

Let's hope we keep improving! Perhaps my Bad Boy Dragon Child will soon be a Good Boy Dragon Child and sleep all the way through? Am I too hopeful? 

Aims: STOP FEEDING THE LITTLE GUY THROUGH THE NIGHT!

Bad Boy Dragon Child Night 4

My mantra for parenting is: "If it's easy, it's probably wrong." 

BBDC didn't cope well with me sitting on the bed away from his crib. So I interspersed sitting on the bed calling out that it was sleepy-time and going over to pat his bum every 10 minutes. This seemed to satiate his need to have me close by, but didn't seem as mean as letting him 'cry it out alone.' It took him 30 minutes to settle again. It seems to be the magic number for him. He did 2 x 4-hour sleeps, waking at 11 pm and 3 am. Huge improvement. However, he woke again 5 am and 7 am. I fed him back to sleep every time - it was easy and yes, wrong, but after two 4-hour sleeps I was even more tired than usual (how does that work?). But, it's become apparent that my inconsistency with sleep-time/napping is restricting him from sleeping longer. So, this morning I implemented the same strategies with day-time naps. It took 30 - 45 minutes this morning to get him to sleep. Compared to the 10-minute feed-to-sleep routine it's much slower and I feel like I will loose my precious day time to relax and catch up on things, but I have to trust that I will hopefully have longer periods of time when he learns to self-settle. I would love 2 x 2-hour naps of free time to do things around the house! Combine that with 8-hours sleep and I will become a super-mum! 

Alchohol Consumed: 1 glass of chardonnay by See Ya Later wines
Sweets: 1 x bowl of ice cream (must work out soon - can feel bum getting bigger by the day)
Achievements: 2 x 4-hour stretches
Failures: Feeding to sleep during the night
Aims: Consistency with nap routine and cutting out a feed during the night

Bad Boy Dragon Child: Night 3

3 steps forward, 5 steps backwards...

Dragon Boy went to bed at 6:30 pm. Put himself to sleep in 30 minutes with a little protesting and moaning. It's quite funny to watch: he rolls his head from side-to-side, moans, yells, cries all while his eyes are completely closed. He's exhausted. The mental anguish is palpable and after 3 nights of observing him, it has become quite hilarious. Hubby and I stiffle laughter watching BBDC try to fall asleep.

He slept until 11:30 pm and I quickly nursed him back to sleep. Another wake-up at 2:25 am and then 4:05 and 6:15 am. 4-hour stretches interspersed with a 2 and 1 hour stretch. Improvement? I feel a little more rested, but my failure still lies in the fact that I cannot let him cry it out in the middle of the night. I feel things wont get better unless I find it in myself to do that.

Alcohol Consumed: Half a beer
Sweets: One bowl of ice cream with magic shell
Successes: 4-hour stretches
Failures: Feeding back to sleep

Aims for Night 4: Sitting on the bed away from the crib instead of beside him & letting him cry for 10 minutes instead of nursing him back to sleep.

Exhaustion level: 7/10